Letters: From The Heart

May 28, 1999

Dear Nancy and Gary

With all the fancy paper I have, the only paper which I truly long to write on, the one that allows me to speak my heart, is yellow legal pads (original was hand written on blue-lined yellow legal paper) – so it is with my heart, with my soul I write this missive to you.

Now you may be wondering why is Louise writing us another letter, she already sent one card, doesn’t that suffice? No, it does not! The enormity of your loss, of all of us who share your sorrow, cannot be scribed into a single card, nor in a single phrase, or word. The loss is so great, our words are so small that I am compelled to write yet another note to you.

Know that the memory of Tisha’s wedding and Tisha’s death is forever inscribed into my soul.

As friends we have weathered many a challenge but none so great as what we faced, what you faced Monday, May 24.

As a professional social worker I have done many things in my career, none as moving nor as unsettling or humbling as being with you in the emergency room. There we were helpless in the face of disaster and yet I saw you both nestled in the sanctuary of your friends and of your church.

How do we deal with the impossible, the unthinkable, perhaps by engaging in the tasks at hand. That you both did so beautifully. Always caring for others, making sure Mark was attended to, Tish was kept with dignity, Brooke could have her moment alone. Ever kind, you both decided with Mark, Tish would live on in the body of others. I know the decision came easily to you while at the same time it delayed the inevitable good-bye.

Proudly you stood like armed sentries – we looked like palace guards solemnly standing, only the clanking of large steel doors jolted our reverie, reminding us of our tragedy.

In a moment, I thought I heard the thunder of a horsedrawn hearse rumbling through the hospital. Instead, Stan’s melodious voice cracked with grief that filled the air as we silently saluted Tish’s farewell.

I turned my head and glanced at you and in that moment felt every arm in the room reach out to caress and hold you, Gary, Nancy, Brooke and Mark. We’ll never let you go. We are with you even when you do not think anyone is.

It was there I understood, admist your sorrow, admist this terrible, unexplainable, unforgivable tragedy, the true meaning of love and brotherhood. For your lives are enveloped by those who care and I felt humbled to be one of them