Mommy

It was a week after Tisha died. We spent this week surrounded by friends, overwhelmed by our loss, consumed by our grief, nothing seemed right. My escape was to write down all I could remember of T's life.

It was way too short.

I found T's letter to Nancy for Nancy's birthday in 1998. It was a wonderful letter celebrating their transition from daughter/mother to friends. I wondered what would T say today. I wrote the following.

Mommy, our plans were good.
I don’t know what went wrong.
It was so perfect,
just like a song.

Mommy, I was a good girl,
I did what I was told.
From me they took
the chance to grow old?

Mommy, when I went to bed that night,
I never said goodbye.
I'm sorry, Mommy. I had to go.
But Mommy, please don't cry.

You were so good to me.
I loved you so.
You smiled and stroked my head;
We just didn’t know.

Mommy, please tell Daddy
That I loved him very much.
I loved our family hugs --
The feelings and the touch.

And please tell Mark;
my husband; lover; and my friend;
How much I loved him.
It is, forever, to the end.

And tell my little sister;
That she is number one.
To her I say “I’m so proud
Of all that you have done.”

I’ll say hello to your mom and dad.
I’ll kiss Grandpa and wait
For our family to be together
At that future date.

And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best,
I loved my life and where it led.
With Mark, my friends, and all the rest.

Mommy, I loved the wedding.
It was as we had planned.
To dance the night with twinkling lights
To the songs of our own band.

I love you Mommy, I always have.
I know; you know it's true.
And Mommy, all I want to say is,
"Mommy, I love you."